I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry
by PheonixFireBlack
Summary: Zack reflects on his and Freddy's relationship and how much the drummer says "I'm sorry." Cute FZ bit. R&R if you feel like it! lol.


Title - I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry

By - PheonixFireBlack

Summary - Basically a tribute to the supposed-to-be-but-non-existing ADD of Freddy Jones. (definitely subject to change...like, to be LONGER for example? lol)

Genre - General/Romance

Category - School of Rock

Feedback - Please? I'll love you forever! lol

Criticism - Flame if you must, but constructive criticism is better.

_**Disclaimer - Honestly, guys. Don't you think that Freddy and Zack would have been at least a little more gay had I owned SoR? No, you don't think so? Well...go take a look at my profile and look at all my SoR fics. Most of them...nods That's right, they are Freddy/Zack. So, NO! I don't own School of Rock. too bad, though wink**_

Notes - Not much on this one. It's a dream-based fic so...BEWARE! Or something like that.

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I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry  
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**Love means never having to say you're sorry**

**Erich Segal**

I sighed as we walked around town, holding hands. Twenty-two years of my life have already passed me by...and a good eight of those were spent with him. I smile as I glance over at the blond walking next to me. He's so cute, but damn he can sure be annoying sometimes. Like right now. I would have actually been able to enjoy this moment if he could have just kept his mouth shut. But Freddy Jones is not known for keeping his mouth shut. "Freddy..."

"Yeah?" He looked at me, curioius as to why I interrupted him.

"Can you just...be quiet for a few minutes?" I asked quietly.

"Sorry..." He said, looking guilty as hell.

That's just like him. I try to get him to shut up from a little bit, then he goes off and looks guilty as hell. Then I want to talk to him. Dammit. There goes the quiet, silent, sweet moment that I was about to escape into. Oh, well. "Freddy? What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." He muttered, though I knew something was wrong.

"Come on, Freddy. You know I know you better than that. What's wrong?" I asked, putting an arm aruond his shoulders.

"It's just...I always seem to talk when you want silence." He said quietly, sort of leaning towards me.

"Freddy...you're always talking, what do you expect me to say to get you to stop for a little bit?" I asked, joking.

The joking around didn't seem to do anything for him today. Freddy just continued to walk with me, leaning over into me.

I sigh since I can't think of anything to say. So we walk back home to our small New York apartment in complete silence. I didn't seem to have my key on me, so I asked Freddy for his. He didn't hand it to me like I would have preferred, but rather, made me get it from his pocket myself. If I didn't know any better, I might think he just liked the thought of me near-gropping him. Of course, I knew that this was true, but this is **_far_** from whatever point I may think I have. After getting the keys from my boyfriend's pocket, I unlocked the door and stepped inside, finally separating from Freddy a little, though making sure I didn't stray **_too_** far away. I never could get too far from him. "So...now what?"

Freddy shrugged and sat down on the sofa. He still had a guilty look on his face as he muttered again, "Sorry..."

I just nodded my acceptance and ventured my way into the bedroom. I sighed and lay down on the bed, across the width. I picked up the picture that was in the frame on my bedside table. It was of Freddy and I. We were at some kind of amusement park, I guess, I couldn't really make it out. I don't remember who had taken the picture; it might have been some complete stranger for all I know.

As I really start to study the picture, I notice something about Freddy. Maybe my eyes and my mind are playing tricks on me, but I swear to God that it looks like Freddy is trying to say that he's sorry about something. I sigh and put the picture back on the table as I swing around to lie on the bed length-wise. "Does he really say 'I'm sorry' that often?" I wondered out loud. This simple question got me thinking. Sure, there were probably at leas four moments I could pull from the top of my head that he said it, but...he doesn't say it **_that_** often, does he? Suddenly, my mind went from one scene to the next of a few of these incidents that I remembered instantly.

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Flashback 1  
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Freddy and Zack were fourteen and completely bored out of their summer minds. The two boys were laying on Zack's bed lengh-wise, side-by-side. Suddenly, they both sat up and leaned against the wall behind the bed. Freddy sighed and Zack looked around his room in boredom. All the sudden, out of nowhere, Freddy turned to face Zack and without really noticing what he was doing, Freddy kissed his best friend full on the lips. This didn't last for long, however, before Freddy pulled away, eyes wide as the full moon. He swallowed, "I-I'm sorry...I don't know why I just did that. I don't came over me. I just...I-I, um..." He chewed on his lower lip for a moment.

Zack grinned and shook his head before he kissed the blond back. "Never knew...you felt that way, Freddy..."

"Ditto..." Freddy whispered, practically breathless.

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End Flashback 1  
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Flashback 2  
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The two boys were seventeen now, and had been an established couple for almost two years. They were currently out at a local teen hang out, but they weren't having much fun. To be completely honest, they were kind of bored. Freddy sighed and glanced at Zack from across the booth-table they were sitting at, "So..."

Zack couldn't help but try and kick Freddy under the table. "Damn you, Jones."

Freddy grinned and quickly reached across the table to take his boyfriend's hands in his own. This didn't go like he had planned, however, when the soda that was kind of on the table tipped over right into Zack lap. Freddy could feel his cheeks almost immediately flush. He didn't blush very often, but this was just not what was supposed to happen. "Zack, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen, it just...I..." He sighed and closed his eyes. Freddy jumped slightly when he felt something touch his hand. He opened his eyes to see Zack's hand on his and Zack staring straight into his eyes. God, Freddy loved Zack's eyes; he wished he could just sit in one place all day and stare into them.

"It's ok..." Zack said quiely, "Accidents happen." He smiled the one certain smile that made Freddy's stomach turn. God, he loved that smile.

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End Flashback 2  
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In the present time, I sat up and glanced at the calender on the nearby wall and sighed. "Can't be today...can it? Does it have to be **_today_** of all days?" I could already feel the sadness wrapping around me. I hated this day with such a firey passion; but I have a tradition on this day and I don't plan to skip it this year. So, I slowly got up and grabbed my keys, walking into the living room. Freddy looked up at me when I entered and immediately saw the keys in my hand. I didn't even have to say anything, he knew what was going on. I smiled a sad, small smile at him and started towards the door.

Freddy quickly jumped to his feet. "Wait! I'll go with you."

"No, Freddy, you don't have to do that." I said, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Yes, Zack, I do." He said, looking directly at me. "I know how upset you get..." He shook his head, "Can't have you driving yourself home when you're in that kind of state." So he followed me out the door and down to the car.

"You know," I started as we got into the car and I started it up, "You don't have to do this. You can just stay here."

"But...I **_want_** to do this, Zack."

I smiled a little at him, "Thanks, Freddy..." And so I backed out of the parking space and headed towards our destination.

When we got to our current place of parking, I killed the engine of the car, but just sat there, completely stone-faced. I couldn't do it. For some reason, this year, I could even get out of the car. This was bad; I couldn't break my tradition, I just couldn't. It would be damn disrespectful, but I also couldn't get out of the car. I licked my lips, but continued to sit there and stare out the front window.

Freddy looked over at me; I could feel his eyes on me. "You ok?"

I shook my head slowly, though I stayed silent.

"Are you sure you wanna do this? Cause, we don't have to, ya know?"

I shook my head again, "No, no...I can't...**_not_** do this. I have to, Freddy." I said, opening the car door. I looked around and could hardly believe the amount of headstones there were. That was a whole lot of dead people. Suddenly, I wished I had brought a jacket. I sighed and knealt down next to my mother's headstone. I hadn't even been here five minutes and I could already feel the tears well up in my eyes. "Mom...Why?..." I trailed off after that.

It was a little while later, though I'm not really sure how much time passed, when I heard Freddy sighed for the third time in the last ten minutes. Then I heard him mutter something I never thought I would hear come from him. "How can you get so upset about one person?"

Since I had heard what he said, I couldn't even think about stopping myself from speaking. "What did you say?"

Freddy rolled his eyes, "I said," He started off harshly, "I don't see how someone can get so upset over one person."

The tears I had just tried to brush away were already clouding up my vision again when I heard him say that again. "I can't believe you. You know what I've been through, Freddy."

"But, Zack...how can you get so worked up about her? I mean...she did drugs all the time...that's how she died, for Christ's sake! She overdosed!"

When they came out of my mouth, I could hardly believe what I was saying, "Yeah...well at least I **_had_** a mother! At least my mother cared enough to stick around!"

Freddy would normally get really emotional at a statement like that, be on the verge of tears and all. However, today, only pure anger coursed through him. The next thing he knew, he had his best friend pinned to the side of the car with one arm over Zack's chest, just below his throat. "Take it back." Freddy said darkly.

My eyes held more tears than before; why was Freddy acting like this? He was never violent, even when someone went off about his mom like that. He was always calm about it...except for right now. When I blinked and my vision cleared from the tears sliding down my cheeks, I spoke again. "I didn't mean that, Freddy, and you know I didn't. And you also know that I'm really sensitive when it comes to my mother...please...Freddy, I-I didn't mean it..." I swallowed and hoped he would let me go. My tears had stopped after that last blink and I was kind of glad; I never really liked crying.

Freddy's eyes and face softened immediately. He instantly released Zack and put his hands on either side of his head, "I can't believe I just did that...Why did I do that?" He asked himself, "So stupid! Stupid, moronic, screwed up idiot!" He berated himself, running a hand through his hair. He paused and turned towards Zack again, inching closer to him. "Zack, I-I'm sorry...I'm really, **_really_** sorry. I don't know why I did that...what came over me, I just...I lost it....I-I'm sorry..." A few tears trailed down Freddy's cheeks now.

"Oh, God, Freddy....please..." I said, stepping closer to him and cupping the right side of his face with my right hand, "Don't do this."

"Don't do what? I-I didn't know I was...d-doing anything..." He choked out.

I moved my hand a little so that my thumb was about an eight of an inch from the bottom of his eye. When I did this, Freddy shivered a little. I brushed the tears away and kissed his forehead. Even though it kind of scared me to know that my "protector" even had a few weaknesses, Freddy was too damn adorable when he was crying. I guess it's just because it shows that he really is human and he **_can_** cry, no matter what he tries to let the world think. I wrapped my other arms about his waist and turned him around so he could lean on me as I leaned against the car.

"I'm really sorry, Zack..."

I turned him around again, one arm still around his waist, but my right hand almost immediately shot up to retrieve it's last spot on his cheek. "Freddy...don't do this, ok?"

"Why are you still with me? You're really great and...smart...why are you dating a stupid screwup?" Freddy asked, tears still falling down his cheeks. He let his eyes fall to the ground to be glued there for eternity.

I had other plans for his eyes, though. "Freddy...Freddy, look at me." I tilted his chin up so that he was looking me striaght in the eyes, "If you were such a stupid screwup...do you think I would still be with you? Honestly..." Freddy shook his head. "Then why would you even ask me that?"

"Because...i-it doesn't seem right to me, Zack! If you look at your life and you look at mine and you look at our personalities...it just doesn't seem to add up, Zack! We're hardly anything like each other at all!" It was almost as if God had planned for Freddy to say every last word and make every last movement with his hands before He decided that it should start to rain.

"Haven't you ever heard that phrase, 'Opposites attract', my dear friend?"

"But, Zack, I--"

I put a finger to his lips and he stopped, "Let me ask you this..." I bit my lower lip for a moment, "If you were really such a stupid screwup...do you think I'd love you as much as I do?" I asked him quietly. I prayed to God that he didn't freak out on me now.

Freddy felt his stomach lurch and start to stumble back. He was almost shocked when Zack caught him and brought him towards himself. Finally, Freddy had some kind of reaction to what Zack had just said. He shrugged, "I-I don't know..."

The rais was really coming down in buckets now. "Come on, even if we don't go home, let's at least get in the car." I said and with that, we both got into the car as quickly as we could. We slammed our doors at the same time and when I started the car, Freddy turned the heater on full blast. I crossed my arms and moved my hands up and down them to try and get some heat around me, "I **_really_** wish I would've brought that jacket with me."

"I-I know what you mean...it's fr-freezing." Freddy didn't have as good of a handle on his chattering teeth as Zack did.

Eventually, I slowly started to get back on the highway so we could go home. It was silent for awhile and I got fed up with it, so I turned the radio on. At least it was noise other than the rain hitting the car.

If it hadn't been for the thoughts that were running through his mind, Freddy knew he would be asleep by know. The sound of the motor and the rain hitting the top of the car and the windshield was, to him, a nice, soothing, near sleep-enducing kind of combination of sounds. He blinked at few times and realized that he was shuffling his feet around in that way he did when he got nervous. He quickly reached over and turned the radio off, "Zack?"

"Yeah?" I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, but kept my eyes on the road.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"About what?" I asked, a little confused. Not only could earlier have been any time of the day, but it was kind of hard to know just what Freddy was talking about.

"About lo--" His stomach turned. "Lov--" Again. "You know, a-about l-lo-lov--" And yet again. "God. I can't even say it without my stomach turning." Freddy muttered.

I frowned for a moment, but realization set in soon. "Oh...you mean about loving you as much as I do?"

Freddy nodded; I could only barely see this from the corner of my eye, though.

"Yeah...of course I meant it. Why?"

"Just...making sure..."

Silence overtook the car once again, but not for long because I spoke again. "Why couldn't you just say it?"

"I think that even just the idea of someone lo-loving me at all just freaks me out...I-I don' tknow other than that."

"Are you serious?" I asked, parking the car and turning towards him.

"Let's get to the apartment so we don't have to dread the rain anymore. I'll talk to you when we get there." Freddy smiled and practically dove out of the car.

The two young men managed to get into their apartment without looking like they had just gotten out of a swimming pool, but they were still soaked. They neither one cared at the moment though; they were both to focused on their current topic of discussion. So, they continued with it as they both changed into some dry clothes.

I started the conversation up again as I slipped on a loose-fitting t-shirt. I think it just might be one of Freddy's. "So, the thought of somone loving you freaks you out, huh?" I asked, laying down on the right side of the bed.

Freddy laid down next to his "better-half", folding his arms behind his head. "Yeah..."

"So....do I freak you out, then?" I asked, curious if that's sort of what he meant.

"Well, in a certain way, yes."

I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

Freddy laughed and turned to lay on his side facing Zack, "What I mean is, you as a person don't freak me out. It's just...all the...affection and compassion that I get from you that kind of freaks me out."

"So...that's why you kind of...shy away from me sometimes, then?"

Freddy nodded a little.

"Well, it's nice to know that you're scared of me half the time. I mean, at least you told me." I couldn't help but fake-pout about this.

"Sorry..." He muttered, leaning over and kissing Zack lightly and playfully on the lips.

I grinned up at him and when he went back to laying on his side, I did the same, facing him. I couldn't help but reach over and play with his hair. I always loved playing with Freddy's hair. Since it had gotten so quiet, I looked over at him and was about to say something when I noticed that he was asleep. "I know you are....you are **_always_** sorry..." I muttered, kissing him on the lips lighlty before slowly drifting off as well.

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End I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry  
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Notes - So...it wasn't THE BEST FIC IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! but...it was cute, wasn't it? I mean...omg! I loved it! I loved the ending. I was actually going to stop before they got into the car and came back to the apartment again, but...I decided against that cause it just seemed to short. I still think it's short, but shrug Ash is telling me that I must stop the fic here...and that I should really go to sleep sicne it's 2 AM. I think I'm going to take his advice guys! Good night!

Later days,  
-PFB-


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